Soooooo... I've decided to spend $1000 on a gym membership at Amore fitness. Mind you, that's like only 60% of the 'retail price'.
Robs offered to pay 30% of it. Though initially I was pretty sure he'd said 50%.
*rolls eyes*
We decided it coz I'm just too lazy to get around the neighbourhood running, and he's given up all hopes of getting my ass moving.

Bought it from a nice lady who told me she'd won the free one year membership but didn't need it and was willing to let me have it for $1k. Turns out when we met to do the transaction, she was holding a squirmy adorable toddler who refused to say Hi to me, and her husband was struggling with a pram while holding on to another pretty kiddo who looked just as sweet.
But you know what, she gave me a good idea of what having two kids could do to you.

Am not being bitchy or anything, but let me just state the fact that she evidently needs this gym membership more than I do. Of course I didn't blurt it out, are you mad bro? It was just all in my head, the words rolling in my tongue... But I stopped myself.

Was just having a casual chat with her and she mentioned that if her husband wasn't around to drive her to the gym, she most probably wouldn't be able to go coz she's two kids. After that, I was just casually commenting about it to Robs and he was quick to reiterate what the nice lady is going through.

Quite, to my horror, spot on. Images start unraveling in my head but I quickly shut them out.

Ok... Having two kids:

• Makes you fat
• Makes you immobile
• Makes you struggle with your kids on one hand while the other with the pram
• Makes you give up on a life for yourself
• It's always gonna be about the kids. And they're not even like any taller than my thigh.
• Many more I don't even wanna say... Like having strangers stare daggers on you if you fail to shut your screaming kids

But I guess what every parent would say, having kids make them happy. and I sure hope grumpy me would be happy about it. Coz it is so not looking attractive to me right now.

And I'm so guilty of staring daggers at parents whose kids make a fuss and I'd inevitably mutter 'i hate children', 'shut that thing up'.
But of course I'd smile at the genuinely cute, well behaved ones. Well, sometimes they decide it's too creepy and start whining anyway. Lol.

Things

I live in a place where everything is convenient. And I'm blessed to have access to things that I need, things that I want...

I've never had to worry about my next meal, I had no qualms about spending few hundreds on items I don't necessarily need, but would be nice to have...

The only thing I feel sorry for is not being able to sleep through the night.
I'm just one of those ungrateful brats who doesn't give a shot or spare a thought about how blessed I am with what I have.

And I feel ashamed.

 Yea from time to time I get this rare moments of appreciation and humbling experience because I realise, from reading articles or seeing videos online, that some people live in conditions worse than beyond what I imagine...

I just feel like  I'm an awful person right now.

😞

I don't deserve anything.

 I deserve to be Bitch-slapped across my face for being such an idiot.

And so does a lot others.

#justsaying

Everytime I look at my ring nestling snugly on me fourth finger. I haz a happy :D