Since you've been gone

In the time of Robsie's absence,
I tried playing Life Quest 2 but got stuck because I was made to pay to complete my life quest journey. Like Wth?

So I started my Pet Shop Story

Could all of you please start your own pet shops, be my neighbours, play with my pets and give my pets gifts? I'll be sure to return the favour. :)

Add me! 'monatomic' :D

Am obviously deprived of some real animal love. Me vants a kitty!

I wonder...

God made us different from one another.

I've met some very lovely people.
They exude warmth, friendliness and they're genuinely nice.
It's almost as if they were made with flowers, chocolates and ice cream dipped in chocolate fondue.

It's easy to love them.

And I wonder,

Is it easy? For me.
Do people find it hard to love me? Or does it take a lot for them to?

I'm damn sure I'm not a very lovely person.

But I wonder how much it takes.

It's like, I look at my dad. Man is it a chore to love him.
I'm not afraid to broadcast it because it's so very true.
Some people walk around with pricks perpetually etched in their hearts.
This is one of mine.

And then, there are those whom you simply love to hate.
It's as if these people were made with thorns, brambles and 5 day old rotten fish, and their existence was sealed with a century old curse.


So yea, I guess I'll strive to be someone who's easy to love.
Someone who receives flowers, eats chocolates & ice cream and gets a dip in a chocolate fondue. :)

Xxxx

Robsie goes to Phuket without ME today.
I was devising a way to kidnap him.
But I fell asleep.
Ughhhhh.

That void...

You'd have experienced that void many times in your life.


That void,

When you've just completed a huge project, all fulfilled and basking in delight for the relief of the stress and crap-load of... Well, crap.


That void,

When you've just reached the end of the line after having delved into an unraveling written fiction, mind betrayed into thinking you had privvy to the inner-most thoughts and feelings of the protagonist who's an actual person who exists.

Ditto for films/ musicals/ plays/ TV dramas & series and the likes.


That void,

When the person you'd been convinced was your Soulmate, the Love of your life, decided to cut you off emotionally. Never mind that he pretends to still talk to you like he cares about that friendship you've both shared.

Ditto if he's Michael Bublé singing a ruddy love song and all you can think of is his lovely, hot, Argentinian model-actress of a wife who is of the same age and you're like a lowly peasant next to her albeit that she's miles and miles away. Above all, the very teeniest detail like your mere existence is unknown to them.


That void,

When you drag yourself out of bed every week day, questioning your purpose and meaning in life whilst you commute to work in overly crowded public bus, then board the overly crowded train from an overly crowded platform, you'd also have lunch at overly crowded food centres;if you're looking for a fun night out with friends and family, you'd have to head to overly crowded places...

At the end of the day, the only conclusion you'd draw is how overly crowded a place you're confined to.

You're left unsatisfied, unfulfilled, misguided and lost; never having gotten quite an answer to the pressing question of "What is my purpose and meaning in life?".

Did I mention immensely irked by the overly crowded condition?
Of course, a foregone conclusion if you're Singaporean.


That void,

When you realise that you're never gonna eliminate that void that creeps in every once in a while.
That inevitable void that comes at you- sometimes in dollops, sometimes in chunkloads,
sporadically through your life and you'd have nothing to do but to swallow it as it comes along.
Sometimes it chokes you, threatening to take your breath away, literally.
Other times, you take it in, and pass it off as... Well, crap.


But friend, one thing I do know-
That void,

Is here to stay.
So embrace it,
With a dead-pan face like I do.

Another Day in Paradise

Good ol classics.

Winter Sonata

Almost forgot how tragic a love story this is.

Am officially drama-depressed.

Funny how I enjoy reveling in this sappy mode alone.

I suppose I never liked watching sappy love stories unfold in the presence of another human being.

It's quite a chore to hold back tears.
If you think crying is energy sapping, try holding back bouts of tears threatening to pour.

I resent the fact that I acknowledge loving this masochistic behaviour

He.

I saw him today.

He.

Oh, believe me, I'd recognise him anywhere.

It was him.

It is him!

I remember vividly.

He, whom I've written about.

He, whom I'm willing to give up 5 years of my life for. 

Ok, technically, not him, him.

But rather, that look I caught him giving...

Wait, where is it?!


HERE!

March 14th, 2009

It is He.


Now I'm wrecking my brain, thinking if Robsie ever cast such a look on me.

Erps... No.

I don't think he ever did.

FINE.

Just as well.

I'm saving 5 lives for Candy Crush.

:p

Xxxxxxx

Yea... Just called him. Already snoozing. *sulks*

It's been done.
I'm a prophet.
All my premonitions came true. And many more.

I didnt give a rat's ass about putting on make up today.
So one colleague was like "Aiyo, why you look so tired today?"

I gestured and drew an imaginary circle around my abdomen area and she gave a knowing nod.

And another colleague, who happens to be a man, laid eyes upon my not-so-lovely countenance and was genuinely shocked,
"Wah! Have you not slept for 2 days?!"

 And I was like, "Yea..."

 One sleepless night of Crimson River = 2 sleepless nights

 xxxx

 The uterus makes all the difference between a man and woman.

 Let's survey an earlier tele-conversation with my Robsie dearie (who already knows and claimed to have prophesied that I'm having the Crimson River prior to that).

R: yadda yadda
Me: Argh!
R: What?
Me: My blood is leaking!
R: What blood?
Me: My blood lah!
R: From where?
Me: (thinks to myself: There lah!? where else) out of my shorts
R: *Cackles triumphantly*
Me: *Rages innately*

Like seriously? What was I to say?
 *rolls eyes*


XXXX

Saw The Office Season 9 Episode 20 & 21 earlier.
The part about Pam & Jim, then Angela professing her love for Dwight in tears whilst in Oscar's car, and Nard Dog playing the guitar, singing Sarah Mclachlan's I Will Remember You brought tears to my eyes.

I remember when Michael Scott left. I haz a sad too.

I've been following The Office for years now. *sobs*
  :'(

 Xxxx

 While I'm in the mood for sappy music.
 Here's one of me faves.
 Makes me wanna watch the drama all over again
.

Midsummer night's discovery

Do not let me begin to launch into a tirade of unspeakables about the relentless weather that do not possess an ounce of kindness to my already frizzy hair. so I had to spend the most of my day downloading and watching the office season 9 and the Vampire Diaries I do realize that I have sorely neglected this written space of respite. but tonight it's not just the matter of filling out the space with mindless rambles. It's rather a self reminder of how meaningless life could be. so there I was, minding my own business, watching comedy on my laptop and I felt queasy. moderate queasy at best. then a warm gush from in between my thighs. I did not need to witness what I'm about to describe. Yes. the dreaded crimson River. here is a premonition-rundown of how tomorrow would be. no, actually let me start on how the next couple of hours would be. I will be giving in to drugs, popping 2 Nurofen doses instead of acting all gung-ho about the whole bloody war zone happening in my uterus right now. and then I shall drift to lala land where I will meet with people from my imagination. I will wake at 4 a.m. from my reverie then fall asleep a half hour later, before waking to a brand new day all grouchy and hating everyone and everything. and then I'm going to step into the dreadful train cussing at the unbelievable crowd, while sulking my way to work. the Sulk remains. I pop in 2 more Nurofen in the day. Come back home. And watch Vampire Diaries. story of my life. and in case you haven't already know, it is week two of my new HTC one.and I cant be more thrilled. I'm actually using speech to text feature for this very entry. Thereby officially living up my Bridget Jones diary moment. well not exactly. just that I have been trying to speak with an English accent because the darn phone doesn't recognize my stupid Singaporean accident. Fine. Accident works too.