Expectations Management

Almost every morning, I'd go on Whatsapp and I'd either receive or initiate texts to the following:

• Robsie Dearie
• 5 Gossip Gals group
• Meds

The content?

• General conversations
• Bitching about stuff at: work, church, people, other metaphysics encounters which I feel the need to say something or ask something
• Share interesting links and photos
• Bitchin. Simply coz.

So this morning, Robs, who's free from the shackles of an office sedentary lifestyle most of us are accustomed to, was just nua-ing at home I presume; sent me a link to an article written by some "church pastor" -

The Most Overlooked Characteristic of Who You Want to Marry - http://www.familyshare.com/Marriage/the-most-overlooked-characteristic-of-who-you-want-to-marry

"Yet few people ever consider what is a vital question — can I suffer with this person?"

There were, on a few separate occasions, when Robs dropped this on me. Well, not in those words exactly, but some variance of it. All I know was that he was trying to ask if I'd still stick around if he's taken ill or something happened to him and he's not like he is now.

 

I guess I've never given this question much thought coz I've already known the answer--

I don't know.

Who does good at hypothetical questions? 

Yea, I do a lot of internal conversations and worst-case scenario situations in my head but they're not exactly accurate coz not all of them would come to pass. 

And who's to say that they would REALLY do something like they had thought they would? Things happen all the time. Unexpected things. Expected things with unexpected outcomes. 

So many uncertainties! Just like my next pay raise. *deadpans*

And so, my answer to him would always be -

*casts a doubtful/ sheepish/ unconvincing look* "Maybe yes, maybe not, I don't know. It's not happened. Who knows?"

And him being him, always inclined to think the worst of me...

*narrows his already very narrow eyes, shooting daggers to my unwary conscience* "I KNEW IT! You won't lah! I know you. You won't."

Me. *Shrugs* "I can't say for sure! coz it's not happened yet?!"

Come on, that's unfair treatment to make assumptions like that. 

Yes, I haz a pragmatic and bitchy sometimes but I don't know!

Here's what is is- and I probably might regret revealing my "secret", since Robs reads this barren blog sometimes-

I'd rather give people low odds that I'm able to do something good enough. Yes, I'm a natural under-achiever. Average at best really. And maybe it's coz I've low self esteem and confidence? Or maybe I just naturally don't give a shit about anything?

So you know, when the outcome surpasses their expectations, they would think that I'm really rather good afterall!

*sniggers*

Fine, it also causes distrusts and fear that I'd screw up but whatever man. Less things for me to do right?

Example...(I'm already regretting this)

Robs mentioned the side of his work pants ripped (owing to obvious reasons... LOL), and asked if I'd know how to fix it. Like can I sew?

Of course I said I'm bad at it. (Which I am). I'm not gonna say "SURE, I can fix it for you. Yea, I learnt sewing, I can do it."

I didn't want to disappoint him, so I said in a tone a tad sarcastically on purpose "SURE. Give it to me. I'll get it fixed for you"

He was like *narrows his eyes at me accusingly* "You're NOT going to fix it. You're just gonna outsource!"

Like duh right?

Long story short. I fixed it and he was really impressed. But really, it was just super basic sewing. And he was SUPER impressed, coz you know why?

He expected the worst but it turned out pretty good.

Imagine if he thought I could do it anyway? He'd be like "Thanks!" and forget about it coz he knew I can do it.

Nyaghahahahaha

So yea. It's all about expectations.