Disconnected

Nobody likes to hang out with an oddball.

We live in an overly connected world where people are often disconnected. 

The depressing veracity of how people get wrapped up and absorbed in their own lives, technology gadgets or rub their affluent lifestyles in people's faces instead of actually caring about bigger things in life.

Yes, I judge. So what? Everyone does. Nothing new. I'm not saying I'm a deep thinking person and that I care a whole lot about people and life and shit.

No. Quite the opposite. I don't. And I don't give a shit that I don't. At least I'd think so?

No, I'm confused as to what I should feel. I mean I care, but I don't?

Ugh. 

People talk about doing things to better the world A LOT.

Me? No. I'm just happy if I get to live comfortably. In my own little room, consumed by my own little thoughts.

And no. I don't strive for unreachable ambitions (maybe I don't even HAVE any at all?) I don't go out there to help others.

I just sit in my room, on my bed, making judgment on others through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Gossip news...

And I'm evidently... Not happy.

I stopped praying.

I stopped caring.

I stopped having a meaning in life. No, maybe I never had it? I don't even know anymore.

What I thrive on is complaining and whining about how bad life is. I do that a lot. And I kind of like it? But I actually kind of don't like it.

Coz I'm so negative and I hate it. But I kind of like it.

I don't know what I should do. I feel like I should fix myself but really... maybe that's all there is to me- Destined to be disconnected.

The fact that I kind of like it scares me.

Ok, maybe I don't like it. Maybe I'm just comfortable being it.