Of group and solitary inclinations

Everyone, at some point in their lives, yearns to be part of a group, a community, a body that shares a common interest or the likes.

Well yea, me too.
But not quite.

How shall I explain this phenomena?

I've this innate desire for people to include me in their mini-circles (or big, whichever), but I choose to be reclusive and opt out of attempts to engage me.

Oh, believe me, I do feel a morsel of happiness and validation of worth when asked to be included. But I'd rather not be. I'm happy being on my own or with people I deem dear to me.

It's as if I've reached my limits of "loved ones" and can no longer accommodate anyone else. The 'love' would not be the same; it would be 'patronising' at best. Simply coz there's only this much love I can offer.

I've yet to figure out why. There's a need for this sort of behaviour to be analysed. I want to know why.

This ambivalence is rather annoying. I want people to approach me and ask, "Hey, wanna join us for yadda yadda?" Then I derive satisfaction of having politely declined their offer.
Not to spite anyone really. But... I don't know.

You tell me. Coz I haven't the slightest clue at all.

Heh. Eventually, people do tend to stop including me coz you know, experience breeds familiarity. They'd have expected me to say "No" anyway.

My response to that? I develop feelings of being the slightest bit offended and disappointed.

=.=

Am I weird or am I weird?