More than that

4.30am

I can't sleep.
THe usuals. Staring at the ceiling, flippin around in bed, thinkin bout a truckload of what-nots.

That, is definitely something I dont need now.
xxxx

Ever had one of those times when U pray to God but feel like He's not listening becoz He's probably mad at u for a lot of things?

Ever had one of those times when U go thru ur contact list and realised that there's no one whom u can just call and talk to?


In the past, when I was still sharing the bedroom with Cans, we'd have sisterly pillow talks when I can't sleep (it's sometimes one-sided). I'd wake up in the middle of the night and see that she's already into the REM, dreamin of happy things that made her giggle...
I didnt so much as to have a glimpse of her for the whole of today.


In the past, when I was afraid of sleeping alone, I'd sneak into my mom's room and sleep on her bed.
Now, I'm just avoiding her because I don't want to hear her talk about certain things.

U know what's weird? Our rooms are all connected. But separated. I'm in my room, on my bed, and less than 3 metres away from each of them. Yet, I'm feeling very distant.

I texted my best friend who lives 5 blocks away from me. Twice today. She returned none of them.

xxxxx


I picked out a book-My Sister's Keeper.



I read it. It made me cry. Funny how written words can do that.



Crimson river flows.

Indeed, it's more than that. When U see that stain of crimson red... it's an indication of something inside you that's been ripped apart.