NLP on Perceptual positions

Perceptual Positions

The basis for the various perceptual positions comes from the fact that relational experiences always involve more than one individual in the communication loop. The ability to understand the communication loop, and the ebb and flow of events that occur within the loop, is a powerful tool, enabling people to both improve communication and produce ecological outcomes. Even when the participants within the communication loop do not agree, their relationship is enhanced and the possibility of future cooperation is created when they are able to shift perceptual positions is referred to as “triple description” because there are, minimally, three different perceptual positions occurring within a communication loop at any time: those of me/myself (first position), the other individual (second position), and the witnessing of the interaction between these two (third position).

One powerful way to increase your effectiveness in relating to others is to extend your information about the way they behave and how they make their choices. The NLP technique called perceptual positions provides a practical way to do this. On those occasions when you seem stuck in your communication, it can be very valuable to change your position (literally and figuratively) and take different views of the situation. This is sometimes called second guessing. If you can understand their thinking and work out their positive intentions, then you have added knowledge to take you forward. People often use phrases which refer to positions, such as saying, ‘ If I were in your position ’ or ‘I can see your point of view’. However, it is not always so easy to really understand how another person thinks, feels and acts. Perceptual positions offers ways of making such shifts of perspective.

There are three basic viewpoints, three ways of looking at any communication:

There is your own reality. What you think as an individual from your personal experience. This is known as first position.
Then there is what it looks like from another person’s point of view: this is second position. Many people are uncomfortable with this, thinking that understanding and agreement are the same, i.e. that if you look at something from another’s view, you have to agree with it. However, although you need to understand another’s point of view, you do not need to agree with it. Unless you understand it you will not know if you agree with it anyway.
Lastly there is what is called the third position or metaposition. This is the systemic view that looks at the relationship from the outside.


First Position

First position is you, standing in your own physical space, in your own habitual body posture. When fully associated in first position, you will use words like “me,” “I,” and “myself” when referring to your own feelings, perceptions and ideas. In first position, you are going through the experience of the communication from your own perspective: seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting and smelling everything that is going on around you and inside of you in that experience from an associated perspective. If you are truly in first position, you will not see yourself, but will be yourself, looking out at the world through your own eyes, etc. You will be fully associated in your own body and map of the world.

Second Position

Second position is being able to assume another person’s perspective within the interaction. (If there is more than one other person in the interaction, there may be multiple ‘second position’.) This is a temporary, information gathering position in which you shift to another person’s perceptual position, taking on his or her physical posture and world view, as though you were that person. You see, hear, feel, taste, and smell what the communication loop is like from that person’s point of view; i.e., ‘walk a mile in his or her shoes,” “sit on the other side of the desk,” etc. In second position, you will be experiencing the world through another person’s eyes, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, etc. In this position, you will be disassociated from yourself and associated into another person. You will address your ‘first position’ self as “you” (as opposed to “I” or “me”), using “second person” language. Temporarily assuming another person’s position is a wonderful way of evaluating how effective you are on your side of the communication loop. (After you have stepped into another person’s perspective, it is important to make sure you return to yourself fully cleanly, and with the information which will aid you in your communication.)

Third Position

Third position, or ‘observer position’, puts you temporarily outside of the communication loop in order to gather information, as though you were a witness to, and not a participant in, the interaction. Your posture will be symmetrical and relaxed. In this position, you will see, hear, feel, taste, and smell what the communication loop is like from the position of an interested but neutral observer. You will use “third person” language, such as “she” and “he,” when referring to the persons you are observing (including the one that looks, sounds and acts like you). You will be disassociated from the interaction, and in a type of “meta” position. This position gives you valuable information about the balance of behaviors in the loop. The information gathered from this perspective can be taken back to your own first position and used, along with the information gathered in second position, to assist in enhancing the quality of your state, interaction and relationship within the communication loop.


-Modified by Mr Chan Y.K