I felt extremely ashamed of myself when Poh Siew came over yesterday night.

Mom was in the living room alone with the tv on.

Poh figured out immediately that MY mom looked depressed. She asked if I knew what was going on.

It struck me then- what a horrible daughter I was.

A friend who'd seen my mom only a couple of times, telling me that MY mom looked like she's in great distress. And then there's me- insensitive daughter of 18 years.


After sending Poh off... I came back home and spoke to my mom.
She talked to Canida and I for quite sometime.
My heart aches for her.

I wouldn't, in a million years, be able to understand and feel the agonizing hurt that she is experiencing.

I hadn't been a good daughter, really. I felt utterly disgusted with myself.


I wish I could lift the load off her heavy-laden shoulders. But I cannot.

Only want her to make a decision that will make her upset no longer.
Whatever it may be, I'll support her, hands down.


I'm at lost what to do.

Pray Lord that she'll be fine.



And as for him. I wish he'd stop rotting and come to his senses, If he, indeed has at least some goodness in him.


"I do not wish to cultivate ultimate hatred for you. But it certainly IS most difficult to condone what you've done. Sometimes I just wish you'd rot in hell. Although I know in my heart that as long as I live, harbouring such an evil thought, I'll be in hell with you the day I breathe my last. But I still wish it. That's how much I love you."


I'm only hoping for the better. I'm praying. The Lord is there for us, always.


When all else around crumbles, even when the soul in you is slowly withering away, He is the only one we can depend on. There's still hope though. I believe that- in Him, all things are possible.