Let loose.

I've been doing some thorough thinking for a few weeks now.
It's not as easy as it sounds. There's a whole ordeal unfolding right before me, ultimately leading to this ruckus in my head- i bet it's gonna stay there for as long as like.. EVER!

That aside. I've shrunk and put on weight. PLUS my face is allergic to sumtin... Arghx.. my lips are dehydrating and i happen to be an all-time klutz. Which means... i've a few MORE wounds. Nice.


I was told that im 167cm in height. Guess what? The teacher lied to me! I'm only a midget of height 165.5cm. 166cm tops. Ok. IM SHORT. (happy now, Geraldine?)

Hmm.. i'm gettin sick of being nice. Or rather, trying my best to be nice. Whichever it is... Im sick of the word, "nice".

Im sick of conjuring up excuses/ defending for others when they are in the wrong,
i'm sick of trying my best to make others feel right about themselves when they don't deserve it,
i'm sick of trying to be a good daughter,
i'm sick of trying my very bestest to be a good sister,
i'm sick of listening to the lecturers 'oh-so-boring lectures,
i'm sick of doing things that are RIGHT
i'm sick of almost everything.
Most of all.. im sick of myself.

Ya! I'm sick of myself. That's it.

I wish i'd choked to death. I wouldn't be here. I would've been in the comforting arms of my Father in heaven.
SADLY, someone has to come along and save me.
SADLY, instead of being thankful, i'm ungrateful.
SADLY, i'm still breathing.


Everyone tells me that i care too much.
Everyone tells me that i'm trying too hard.
Everyone tells me that i'm too cautious.



Maybe i should try to be irrational for once.
Maybe i should do whatever i want.
Maybe i should just be MYSELF.

I don't care if everyone hates ME.
I don't care if I hate MYSELF.

I cared too much. It's time to let loose.
I'm looking for my remedy. Watch me. =)


PS: I'm sorry (in advance) if i have to be myself. Cause i've no idea what it's gonna be like.