I'm going to be blatant about this.

We live in a changing world says (8:01 PM):
sometimes i msg ricky and val
they nvr reply

Benj says (8:01 PM):
seriously

We live in a changing world says (8:01 PM):
i find it super rude

Benj says (8:02 PM):
ricky always mia

We live in a changing world says (8:02 PM):
once or twice forget nvm but almost always?!

Benj says (8:02 PM):
i msg him on msn, he doesn't reply as well

We live in a changing world says (8:02 PM):
AND

Benj says (8:02 PM):
ALWAYS

We live in a changing world says (8:02 PM):
when i msg gdine and Yijia sometimes, they also nvr reply. sometimes msut see the content also. Maybe when it's just some random text that I send that doesnt really matter, it's fine.

Benj says (8:02 PM):
hey but i do reply right?

We live in a changing world says (8:02 PM):
this time im really pissed coz

Benj says (8:02 PM):
i'm the best

We live in a changing world says (8:02 PM):
ya u do
coz this is abt Amanda's present
then she nvr reply

We live in a changing world says (8:03 PM):
and gdine. it's abt meeting me. the meeting is postponed for 4 weeks ALREADY
and now she still haven reply
how can i not be pissed

Benj says (8:03 PM):
that's why

We live in a changing world says (8:03 PM):
cant they do some housekeeping???

Benj says (8:03 PM):
you should ask the guys to come along your little gatherings

We live in a changing world says (8:03 PM):
like if u cant reply sms IMMEDIATELY

Benj says (8:03 PM):
you're leaving the best out

We live in a changing world says (8:03 PM):
then at least, when u free on the bus ride or sumtin

We live in a changing world says (8:04 PM):
shud look thru ur inbox to see what smses u've left out

Benj says (8:04 PM):
yeah

We live in a changing world says (8:04 PM):
i do that!!!

Benj says (8:04 PM):
same

We live in a changing world says (8:04 PM):
YA!

Benj says (8:04 PM):
but not everyone's like that

We live in a changing world says (8:04 PM):
*hi five

Benj says (8:04 PM):
FIVE back

We live in a changing world says (8:04 PM):
i just find it utterly rude
other ppl nvm
but i tot we're gd frens
n i get that
it's freakin annoying

Benj says (8:04 PM):
i find ppl who dont reply uninterested in whatever you're talking about

We live in a changing world says (8:04 PM):
YES

Benj says (8:05 PM):
yeah

We live in a changing world says (8:05 PM):
LOL!!
omg
ya!
that was really blunt
i didnt think that way
but nw that u've said it
it's the sad truth

Benj says (8:05 PM):
i always thought that way
yeah
haha
no matter how busy
there's always time

Benj says (8:05 PM):
its just a few pushes at the buttons

We live in a changing world says (8:06 PM):
exactly. and always the same buttons. repeatedly

Benj says (8:06 PM):
add:"BEN IS THE BEST"

We live in a changing world says (8:06 PM):
lol
U ARE SO FUNNY I FEEL LIKE SHITTING

Benj says (8:06 PM):
well good fun comes and bad things go
hahahha






Maybe it's just me...
Even a scatterbrain like me would find time to do some housekeeping to make sure important texts that need replies do get them. It's not that I'm always available or that I'm "just a student".
N I had this convo with Benj becoz this is obviously not the first time that it's happened. n thanks to Dear Benjy...I see why this is so.

Too excited. NOT

!!! I've been in bed for the past 3 hours or so and i cant fall asleep! :S

Maybe I'm just too happy with my filofax.

Heh.

Or simply coz i cant get BB outta my mind. ~!@#$%^
I might as well have been doing my BB rather than trying to sleep.

IT. Is. Freak. In. Tort. Ture. Russ.


Quotes Pork earlier today: Kareen! Ur eye rings!!! OH NO...


*purses my lips*


Do I look like I'd be happy with such a comment???
Do I look like I need to be reminded of something I already know???

(But here's the thing. I'd blame u for tellin me the truth. But I'd blame u for not being blatant about it too. Then again. I'd prefer to know the truth rather than not.)

She cud've at least entertained the thought of being subtle about it!
Having caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, Pork's words are involuntarily ringing in my ears. "Ur eye rings! ur eye rings! Ur eye rings!"

rings! Ringssssss....

N I'm gettin my cramps again. :(

Darn. It's almost the start of a new month. I hate starting out a new month like that. !@#$%^&*()_+~ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ.

Yea.I just sang the alphabet song alrite?

I bet u did too! :D


Ok. Im gonna try to sleep again. And dun go reminding me of my rings. They're not diamonds. so im not loving them. Period. <- totally coming soon.

FILOFAX!!!

ME GOTS A NEW FILOFAX!!!

AT half its price. :D

Genuine leather. Red. and the size is PERFECT for me :)

A lil heavy though.

Me is so delighted! :D

Pork was lookin at me incredulously when I gushed about it. Ping was surprised I bought it. Wen was... I forgot. I think I couldnt see her expression coz she wasnt at eye level with me. >.<


I'm really really really happy today. Like seriously. It's gorgeous. It really is.
*hearts*


I rmb Jia and the rest asking if I wanted filofax for my 21st. But the one I wanted was like just under $300. -_-

AND I gots a nicer one today at almost half that price!!!


I'm feeling the sudden urge to celebrate--I'm declaring 29th Aug 2009 My Filofax day.

I'm naming my red Filofax Redberry. :D

If u think the Blackberry is cool... guess what. I've a Redberry. N I'm so stickin Snow White pictures in it. I dont care if ppl like Benjy think it's disgusting. They're just jealous.


XXXXXXX


Am suddenly reminded of what Andy said yesterday...


Andy: I don't understand Kareen. She's always so calm and composed. And she doesnt find anything all that funny.

Kareen: Erm... Not really. I laugh at jokes what.

Andy: Ya, but u don't laugh like us. Almost like it's not near as funny as we think it is. I wonder what makes u excited.

Kareen: *shrugs* But I do laugh when it's funny.

(I didnt have an answer to it then but now I do. Filofax makes me excited! heh. I put it on display on me desk. :D)

Andy: Ya. But nt much. Sometimes u look sians.
*proceeds to do an impersonation of me but obviously a terrible one*

Kareen: Kx, he's doing a veh bad impersonation of me. Can u pls stop him?

KX: *hits Andy* Kareen is always composed and lady-like what.

Kareen: *beams* Yesss. And that's my default face what. And maybe it's too bad I'm not as Good Looking as u.

(This is about a certain picture of Andy that was posted on facebook a while ago.)

Andy: Oh! but u were totally mocking me la!

Kareen: No. I really think that was a very handsome shot of u! I nvr thought u'd look that good.

Andy: Thanks. I think so too.

Kareen: Yea. I think it's the angle. Makes u look taller too. *beams*


LOL. Apparently, that last sentence was funny to everyone else except Andy.




I think I'm also excited when I... get to buy things (not shopping), hang out with my besties and have hi-tea with momsie and the Changs (then possibly have 30% chance of knowing that Cans is going to the loo to barf). And mocking ppl like Andy. Heh.
Just normal things really.

OH!!! and listening to Michael Buble. :D
He's singing Quando quando quando now! *swoons* In love with this song.


What makes u excited or happy?

I think we should make a personal list of exciting things to do and try tickin em all off by the end of 2009. :D

Idea of being phoneless gone out the window

Day 3 of the burial of my Samsung phone...

Yea, my mom told me to put it in the rice barrel and let the rice absorb all the moisture. Wonder if that will work.
Otherwise, I've to fork out at least $100 to get the phone fixed. UGh...

Being phoneless for a day could be refreshing. Being phoneless for the second day is pushing it.
I can't imagine being phoneless for the third day.

It's almost like I'm powerless. How did ppl get by before the invention of the mobile phone???

Despite being absolutely convenient and like a necessity, I still hate the whole radiation thing.

I used to be extremely paranoid abt mobile phones being anywhere near my ear. Dan called me a control freak when he learnt of my irritable reaction towards ppl on the train or bus sitting beside me, yakking on their mobile phones like there's no tmr.

Less of that now, but I still dont get why ppl put their mobile phones in their breast pocket, or hang it round their neck. Radiation cud totally cause cells to die or DNA to mutate. Not that we'll get cancer just by using our electronic devices... I'm just saying... it looks dangerous to me. >.<

Oh, watever. I just hope my phone's gonna work just fine.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


There's a pair of girls on the bench beside mine and they were totally checking out a guy who walked past. Someone enlighten me pls...
That guy's dark, tall, and SUPER SKINNY.
Looks pleasant but his expression reminds me of the undead.
Ok. Almost a minute's gone, they're still gushing about him.

*rolls my eyes.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

*burp*

oops.

Now they're lookin at me like I've flowers popping outta my ears.

I've not had coke for yonks. Cut me some slack...wat's wrong with burping out loud? seriously.
And my burps are demure. :)
Ask Sugi!


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I want to do my essay but I don't want to do my essay.


Or rather... I have to do my essay but I wish I never have to do it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx


Me is craving for chocolates.

From the skies perhaps

I still need a few hundred words for this. Perhaps they'll descend from the heavens.

Heh. Fat hope really. Darn. I hate referencing.




Dead to the world I may be, but that doesn't stop the world from spinning.
Neither does it for my head.

Are u happy?

Are u happy?

What's Happy?

Who has the right to be happy?

If u say u're happy, who can fault you for being so?

Is it wrong to do things to make yourself happier?

Yes, u can't buy happiness with money. A certain 'wise man' ever borne the notion -- the saying "Money is not everything" has implications of greediness becoz the person who made the statement clearly wanted something that can buy everything. Happiness included. So...wanting to obtain happiness is primarily due to our greedy nature.

He's a cynic, that one.


Someone asked me if I'm happy recently. I replied "Yes." without giving it a thought. It just slipped out of my mouth like how u'd apologise for stepping on someone's toe accidentally (if u dun, then shame on u. u ought to be skinned alive and be sprinkled with salt. and finally, melt into a sorry puddle.) Unbeknownst to him, I was having an inner conversation with myself. It started with "But..." and a whole lot of other things.

I wudnt call myself an optimist. Though in a way, I am-- After having composed many forms of worst-case scenarios.

Seems like people do things to fill that void they experiece. It may not be anything drastic that changes much of our "happiness status", nonetheless, they do account for something.
Some ppl smoke, some play golf, some read, some eat chocolate bars, some do voluntary work, some buy things on impulse... etc.


I think it's perfectly fine to pursue happiness.

If bingeing urself with chocolates makes u happy. GO AHEAD. :D

No more room.

Do I look like I've extra energy to spare?

Do not throw me a puzzle and expect me to solve it for you.

I'm not Miss Fix-it. There are boundaries and limitations.

Am drained. Emotionally and mentally. All's been said and done.
Don't wanna repeat. And I'm not sorry anymore.

I'm messed up as I am already... just don't. Alright?

Shopping.

Here's what I think.

You went shopping. You gave up the chance of buying something you think you MIGHT want to own.
It was definitely there for grabs but you took your time.

Now that it's no longer there, u're frantically trying to get your hands on it.


Here's what I feel.

Apologetic. Coz u had your chance but u are waaay too late.


Here's what I think you ought to do.

Forget about it. Find a new one.

She NEVER STOPS.

Tsk.

I'm effing pissed...

Just when I thought it's over. She starts ALL OVER AGAIN.

I am seriously stringing all sorts of words inside my head right now that shud best be kept inside my head until dissolved... and then pretend like they'd never been in my head.

I need a room elsewhere.

Numskull is my middle name

I was resolved to stay angry at my mom for some time.
Am such a dolt right?
Like what kind of a stupid daughter would do such a thing?
Oh, maybe a 13 yr old might be familiar with such.

We had a teeny chat over dinner.
I was kinda apprehensive about it. Cans cancelled out on Momsie last minute. So I had to go no matter what.

All's good though. :)



I've ever imagined life without my Mom. And of course, Monkey Queen.
At times when they drive me nuts, it's SOMEWHAT a comforting thought (*slaps meself*)...

Then again, imagining a life without them, would plunge me into utter consternation.

And I wonder... how often do they imagine life without ME.


Sidenote: It's also quite daunting a thought -- to imagine life without my thigh friend and my perfect bag.

Bring me a dream

I'm dreading the time spent with my mom.

I really am.

She's been bugging me about certain things. I dun get it. If it's not bothering ME. Why shud it bother HER? Ugh. It's not even her problem.

I've had enough really. I dun need this AGAIN. Seriously. She's spoiling it again. All over AGAIN...
She's doing more damage than good.

The more she nags, the more I stay out. The more I stay out, the more she nags.


XXXX

Jubeat is fun. I wanna try the 'Advanced' mode and become like one of those geeks who frequent the arcade. heh.

XXXX

I'm an avid reader of Sugi's blog. Yes. I know it's crazy. Coz sometimes, I think he's a rather egoistical, conceited person. A.K.A- a MAN.
Despite all that, Sugi's a thinker. He's a pretty smart guy who's rather pompous at times and has lousy sense of humour. >.<

LOL. I know. Sorry man, I just LOVE to throw sarcastic remarks at you. I dunno why. I just can't control it. But of course, u're my 'good' friend nonetheless. :D
And I like your latest entry.

Just let the graphics do the talking.

People like to talk. They want to be heard. Always "I", "I", "I"...
I do that all the time. Coz like Sugi, I'm conceited. 'Xept, I'm not so zi lian (LOL) and I admit that I'm so.


Perhaps it's time to leave the talkin for later.

XXXXX

Mr Sandman, bring me a dream...

More than that

4.30am

I can't sleep.
THe usuals. Staring at the ceiling, flippin around in bed, thinkin bout a truckload of what-nots.

That, is definitely something I dont need now.
xxxx

Ever had one of those times when U pray to God but feel like He's not listening becoz He's probably mad at u for a lot of things?

Ever had one of those times when U go thru ur contact list and realised that there's no one whom u can just call and talk to?


In the past, when I was still sharing the bedroom with Cans, we'd have sisterly pillow talks when I can't sleep (it's sometimes one-sided). I'd wake up in the middle of the night and see that she's already into the REM, dreamin of happy things that made her giggle...
I didnt so much as to have a glimpse of her for the whole of today.


In the past, when I was afraid of sleeping alone, I'd sneak into my mom's room and sleep on her bed.
Now, I'm just avoiding her because I don't want to hear her talk about certain things.

U know what's weird? Our rooms are all connected. But separated. I'm in my room, on my bed, and less than 3 metres away from each of them. Yet, I'm feeling very distant.

I texted my best friend who lives 5 blocks away from me. Twice today. She returned none of them.

xxxxx


I picked out a book-My Sister's Keeper.



I read it. It made me cry. Funny how written words can do that.



Crimson river flows.

Indeed, it's more than that. When U see that stain of crimson red... it's an indication of something inside you that's been ripped apart.

Never understood why

Squabbled with my mom again.

Over the little-est things u could ever think of.

And it's simply ridiculous of her to insist that I LIKE GETTING ILL.

Hello? It's not my fault my T-cells arent strong enough.


I never understood why I like to irk her further by refusing to take my medication on purpose.
I'm weird like that. The more she accuses me of not taking them, the more I must prove her right.
THough of course... I'm the one suffering eventually. >.<



Dinner with Mr Lee at My Humble House. It was so not HUMBLE. Price was extravagantly steep. Kudos to Sam Leong for the exquisite interior. But the price could really make my eyes pop outta my sockets if I'm the one footing the bill. Food was good despite the eye-popping prices.


I never understood why...
Why this, why that...
keeping up appearances? Make it seem more complete when it's already broken asunder? Ostentatious. It kinda sickens me...

Ugh.

I never understood why God made each of us so much the same, yet so very different.
I'm only me. I just can't get over certain things. My heart is only this big...



XXXXX



"At your feet I'll lay,
I know you'l take care of me
regardless of whatever betide
in times of joy & sorrow,
trouble & strife.
My love for thee be stedfast,
in thy lovingkindness will I abide.
Peace you have offered,
it passes all understanding.
Yet again I've held on to my burden,
obscured my pilgrimage has become.
Now I know O Loving God,
my burden I'll cast upon thee
and I shall no longer lean on myself alone.

Amen."





XXXXXX


He Knows Just What I Need


My Jesus knows when I am lonely
He knows each pain, He sees each care
He understands each lonely heartache
He understands because He cares.

My Jesus knows just what I need
Oh yes! He knows just what I need
He satisfies and every need supplies
Yes, He knows just what I need.

My Jesus knows just what I need
Oh yes! He knows just what I need
He satisfies and every need supplies
Yes, He knows just what I need.

Naked came I out of my mother's womb, naked came I out of the bathroom.

I was going to have my shower and I saw a REPULSIVE LOOKING CREEPY CRAWLIE CRAWLING ON THE FRIGGIN TOWEL!!!

I rushed outta the bathroom screaming and I didnt stop screaming till my mom reluctantly came over with her right ear still glued to the handset of the house telephone (prob A. Shirley on the line again- yakking non-stop).

Dressed in my bday suit, I was cornered into the furthest end of the kitchen becoz the DISGUSTING CREATURE SPREAD ITS ICKY TWO FLAPS AND FLEW outta the bathroom n into the kitchen where I was!

!!!

All this while my mom (still yakking on the phone, mind you) reached for MY pair of shorts hangin on the bathroom hook to swat it repeatedly until it stopped moving. Eeewch~~
I'm never gonna wear that pair of shorts again. Am gonna give it to Cans. Heh. I cant fit into it anymore anyway.


Im having goosebumps now. U shud've seen the look on the cockroach. It's disgusting. Even when it was pleading to be spared.
Yuck.


*shudders.



XXXXXXXX




I've been having weird sleeping problems. Two days ago, I slept like a pig (thanks to black liquid prescribed by 吴医师。 Yesterday, after hours of staring into nothingness, I fell asleep at bouts 0430. Imagine my horror when I conveniently pounced on my snooze button and woke up at 0830. Lecture was at 0930.

!!!

I dunno what I did, but I reached sch at 0930. :D
Me so proud of meself.


Then... I realised that I looked like a wreck.


!!!

XXXXXXXXXXX



I went to have a trim. My hairdresser says, "Miss ah, your hair... from behind has enough volume rdy... but u don't have much hair. this is the best I can do."


!!!


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I went back to 吴医师, she scolded me for not finishing my medicine on time... and she gave me more.

!!!

I totally felt like puking after taking the medicine during dinner with the girls.


I'm still feeling queasy now actually. U shud totally try it. I wont be surprised if it's Cockroach juice. Eeewch~~