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The Cravings Secret Stash Drop a chocolatey comment SweetNutins Sweetpeas |
Only Chocolatessss will satisfy my endlesss chocolate cravingsss You're most welcomed to satisfy me, You DO know what to do. |
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The Cravings Secret Stash Drop a chocolatey comment SweetNutins Sweetpeas |
Only Chocolatessss will satisfy my endlesss chocolate cravingsss You're most welcomed to satisfy me, You DO know what to do. |
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The Cravings Secret Stash Drop a chocolatey comment SweetNutins Sweetpeas |
|About this confounded soul I AM KAREEN LEE JIANING. A believer. A cynic. A glutton. A sloth. A starry-eyed dreamer. A sucker for fancy words. A fool for sweeties (should you be one at all). =) An Aloof, albeit passionate being. Alright, yep, Ambivalency is part of me. |My wishlist To be with my Father in heaven. To be married to A Chocolatey Prince who loves Ragdolls And ME. To sleep-breathless in a chocolate coffin, till I go six feet under. I wish to swim in Mr Willy Wonka's choco river. |Some Facts About Chocolates From Cacao bean. Categorized- White, dark and Milk. During World War II, soldiers got chocolate candy bars as part of their rations (ARH! I'd join the army if that happens NOW). Contains phenylethylamine, a naturally occurring amino-acid which is considered having aphrodisiacal effects and is even said to be able to "cure" hangovers- Right. makes you feel like you're in LOVE. Alternative to antidepressants. Alleviates pain and encourages a good mood. (Now you know why i crave for them more so when the crimson river flows). Dark chocolate is good for the heart! In Denmark they reason like this: Chokolade is obtained from cocoa beans. Beans are vegetables. Sugar is extracted from sugarcane. Both beans and canes are vegetables, consequently chocolate is a vegetable! |
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The Cravings Secret Stash Drop a chocolatey comment SweetNutins Sweetpeas |
|Confession of the Chocomaniac All the fretting for nothing. on Tuesday, March 31, 2009 If it's possible to die of happiness...I'm dying already. Albeit that I'm in great delight. :) I've put my best foot forward and I can't be any more grateful to myself for doing me a great favour. This could be the start of something God-sent. God will provide. I've always told myself that. And this might be one of the things I've been praying about. As well as what my mom and all other parents have been for their children. 6 months was worth the wait. I know the feeling of "so near yet so far". Now, it's so near and within reach. :) I can't wipe the silly grin off my face. I hate to be always so driven by emotions. But yea... As much as I want to believe that I'm more towards being rational and possess much objectivity. I'm not. I'm gonna embrace being myself. And for the better. I just told YF that I wish to rub off some of that joy within me. Correction. Joy that's exuding. I've also told Gdine that I'm positively surprised at my elation. Maybe it's the fear of the unknown, the waiting and guessing. The giving and yielding. All that made it so much more exciting and sweeter. I have a feeling this might be God Sent. :) There's one song ringing in my head now, "Then I'll give all the love in the world." Becoz he's virtually walked thru my door.
If you can see work you've begun taken from you and given to another without feeling bitterness-- that is maturity. (Pretty hard for me to accept. That's plagiarism!!!) If you listen to someone criticize you, even unkindly, and receive instructions from it without hard feelings-- that is maturity. (I guess I could handle that. I've learnt that everyone's entitled to their own opinions. You can only do your best to change one's perception of you if you choose to. If they still don't like you, then there's nothing else you can really do. At least you've tried and that's what matters.) If you can see a person do an act which is against your Christian standards and react without self-righteousness-- that is maturity. (I can only achieve this depending on certain situations... it's hard. Call me a prude, but yea... am being honest here.) If you can see others chosen for a job which you are better qualified to without feeling hurt-- that is maturity. (Hey! All the better. LESS WORK!) If you can hear another person argue a point of view which is contrary to your own without a feeling of smugness-- that is maturity. (Hmmm? Smug 'cause my point of view is more stupid? Which is often the case anyway.) If you can suffer nagging pain and hide your feelings for the sake of others-- that is maturity. (I guess I can only apply this to certain areas. But I can't say so when my C.R comes. As much as I know ppl wanna get their hands on me all the time, nobody is suppose to touch me AT ALL when my C.R is here. NOBODY.) If you can go out of your way to help another without feeling you are a pretty good person- that is maturity. (Heh. Truth be told, I find that difficult. When I get out of my way just to help someone, it's probably 'cause it's either a duty/responsibility or out of goodness of my heart. So in any case, I'd still think I'm being a pretty good person.) IF you can see someone you know well deliberately snub you, and you can make allowances for his actions-- that is maturity. (I've been thru this umpteen times.) If you can crawl out of bed at an early hour to pray, simply because you realise that here lies your power with God-- that is maturity. (I've kinda stopped this in the recent. No, for a very long time...) If you can listen with your heart, eyes and ears, evaluate another's conversation with love, understanding and go away without opening your mouth-- that is maturity. (Could be escapism. Being silent isn't always a good thing. I believe in communication. Though my ability in that has been deteriorating...) If you can be maligned, falsely accused, ridiculed publicly, and branded with the transgressors without growing bitter-- you have at last reached true maturity. (This is the reason why I should look up to Christ. I can never stand being wronged. EVER.) -- Richard Rojers
- from Picture Perfect Now isn't that true?
That was the effect he had on me. I told Gdine that I was gonna melt into a puddle of pulsating goo. I'm still feeling weak right now. Managed to cook some lunch just now but it tasted really horrid. HEH. YF and Gdine advised me to put my best foot forward and hope for the best. I should do just that... Not being pompous on this, but rather, I'm tearing down that obstructive wall right there... *crossing my fingers on this*
From Kareen: Recent article from The Straits Times: Fast Food Chains are Expanding reports a number of new outlets from various fast food chains are expanding. McDonald's aims to open at least five outlets. With the introduction of value meals, more patrons are willing to pay a little more for a complete set meal at fast food chains, with students forming the majority. Nutritionists spoke of problems such as obesity and diabetes may arise amongst consumers who consume fast food more than twice weekly. http://www.business.gov.sg/EN/Industries/FoodNBeverage/TypesOfEstablishments/fnb_type_fastFood.htm (some F&B stats stuff i cant get access to pdf files...) Healthy Bites Grill started up as a healthy fast food chain in 1998 in Florida, USA. Targeting health conscious consumers, Healthy Bites Grill are expecting to gain market share in the fast food industry. Contending against Healthy Bites Grill in New York, USA, James Tu founded Zen burger-- a vegeterian fast food chain selling meatless burgers. Zen burger's menu comprises of food that may not seemingly taste vegeterian. Another similar health-centred fast food is VG Burgers, selling organic food items. Soon, there will be a growth in demands for healthier fast food. Existing fast food outlets should strategically move towards improving their menu to serve fast, healthy food like what Subway is currently doing. McDonald's had faced a tremendous dip in sales after the media released documentaries and books exposing how unhealthy McDonald's could be. The remedy to counter its declining market share was introducing low-priced staples. This strategy had proved to be successful but the question of sustainability remains unknown. The underlying problem of healthy options still remains. The menu at McDonald's is evidently lacking in healthy food options. Let's not forget the convenience of ordering a set meal that comes with their famous fries and a soft drink and the enticement to "up-size" it. The fast food industry in Singapore is booming. Recent article from The Straits Times: Fast Food Chains are Expanding reports a number of new outlets from various fast food chains are expanding. McDonald's aims to open at least five outlets. With the introduction of value meals, more patrons are willing to pay a little more for a complete set meal at fast food chains, with students forming the majority. Nutritionists spoke of problems such as obesity and diabetes may arise amongst consumers who consume fast food more than twice weekly. http://www.business.gov.sg/EN/Industries/FoodNBeverage/TypesOfEstablishments/fnb_type_fastFood.htm (some F&B stats stuff i cant get access to pdf files...) Healthy Bites Grill started up as a healthy fast food chain in 1998 in Florida, USA. Targeting health conscious consumers, Healthy Bites Grill are expecting to gain market share in the fast food industry. Contending against Healthy Bites Grill in New York, USA, James Tu founded Zen burger-- a vegeterian fast food chain selling meatless burgers. Zen burger's menu comprises of food that may not seemingly taste vegeterian. Another similar health-centred fast food is VG Burgers, selling organic food items. Soon, there will be a growth in demands for healthier fast food. Existing fast food outlets should strategically move towards improving their menu to serve fast, healthy food like what Subway is currently doing. McDonald's had faced a tremendous dip in sales after the media released documentaries and books exposing how unhealthy McDonald's could be. The remedy to counter its declining market share was introducing low-priced staples. This strategy had proved to be successful but the question of sustainability remains unknown. The underlying problem of healthy options still remains. The menu at McDonald's is evidently lacking in healthy food options. Let's not forget the convenience of ordering a set meal that comes with their famous fries and a soft drink and the enticement to "up-size" it. To create a better impression amongst the health-conscious consumers, alternate meal options are available in the southern California region-- customers may replace fries with apples as a healthier choice. I LOVE McDonald's. I do. I'm McDified. McMR McAssignment makes me McMad. Am in McSchool now, thinking about McLunch. I'm saying my McBye. like now.
Mommy's coming home today! Finally. After her impromptu shopping trip to KL with A.Frances and A.Fen. Heh. Did a 30-min quick clean up of the apartment. *phew :) Met Y.F for a chat and caught up on each other's lives. Now that PP's out of our picture, we'd been busy ppl. I almost forgot how we used to poke fun, hung around during break times and had strings of PP informal gatherings that included hi-tea buffets with the Oois. *sigh. Our dear Y.F's dating a sweet young lady who thinks a wee bit too highly of me. I must have been grinning from ear to ear when Y.F told me about it. :) I've submitted my HMT essay yesterday! There's still MR to go... Am feeling fat. J met me for dinner yesterday and he was like "Did u put on weight?" THANKS buddy. I just love to hear that. Grrr... AM GOING TO CONTINUE WITH MY FITNESS REGIME- Run at least twice a week. Laters!
I can't tell you how sad I am to know of your plight. I feel you. If it's of any comfort, I teared (i wasn't sobbing though) and as much as I'd like to understand what it's really like, I can't, coz im not you. I can ask u to cheer up, get a breather or whatever. But I do know u need some time to whine, sniffle, wallow, break down and watever there is. It's alright. GO ahead. Really wish I could be of help. Truth is, I'm very sure u'd be looking at some good news soon. As bleak as ur future may seem to be, I TRULY believe something good's gonna happen. Don't ask me how, I but I just do! :) So, dry those tears now and pray. Call me if u need me. The treat I was talking about is stil open. Anytime babe. Love, Me.
So then it was another boring lecture on accounts. I hate accounting. I really do. It irks me because I can't understand a thing. I wonder why. I was just staring the the wiry curls of my lecturer in her dark blue suit. She was droning on and on... about... was it target net profit? Something caught my eye. Or rather, someone did. There was this guy in a plain white tee. Pretty good side profile I must say. He reminds me of a friend I had a crush on eons ago. I wasn't admiring at his side profile though. It was him and this petite girl sitting beside him. I'm not sure if anyone else noticed how evident that he's got a lil' sumtin sumtin for that girl. It's written all over his face. The way he'll steal glances at her at every chance, how he'd try to hold her gaze, the intensity and longing in his eyes when he did so... I'm willing to give up 5 years of my life to have someone lay his eyes on me like he did her.
Song: The Sounds of Silence One of the greatest hits of Simon and Garfunkel. The song came on my playlist and as I marvel at the vocals of the pair of 'em, it seemed apparent that silence does exist, even if it's not really silent. If you know what I mean.
"Hello darkness, my old friend." People hang out with their friends occasionally. Darkness is one of them I'm sure.
"People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening." Vain, empty talks and the incapacity to listen. Probably why I've kinda stopped holding "real" conversations with people. Or maybe that's coz I've been guilty of 'hearing without listening". Like how you hear the words, as clear as they've been given to you, but they just don't register until you let 'em sink in.
"Silence like a cancer grows." Heh.
So then the other day, I was alone at home. I spent half the morning reading "Flowers in the Attic" at the wattpad website until my eyes were threatening to yell "stop!". I laid on my bed for a bit and stared into nothingness as the engine in my mind started whirring to life: "I wanna get a coke and chocolate ice cream." "Where's that lizard I saw creeping in here yesterday?" "Why didn't anyone text me today?" "Maybe I should do my essay." "Maybe not." "Wonder how the girls did for A lvls." "Why's Cans so angsty all the time. I'm sick of even looking at her." "It's March already." "I don't wanna see Mr Lee nor hear from him ever again." "Maybe not. I don't know. Lord, tell me what to do." "Exam's coming." "It's March already. ALREADY." "I need to get my ass outta here." "Maybe I should get that coke and ice cream now." "Or maybe I'll just rest for a bit more..."
I felt triumphant for a while for not succumbing to my cravings. Then, it came back somewhat like ten-fold and I had to indulge myself and celebrate my earlier victory. -.- Now we know why Mels had great difficulty helping to zip up my LBD at the MnP shoot yesterday. I'm in great distress becoz I've obviously put on some flabs and there's nothing I can do about it. The working out thing? It's not working out. So there. The silence at home was still lingering, I turned on my computer, did some research and played chess with some moron who called me a loser. What an ass. I don't play chess 24/7 online like he did! Who's the loser here? Cans came home and I didn't bother speaking to her. Hmm, actually I did. She snapped at me. Now what did I do? Oh, lemme guess... could it be because I was minding my own business and have decided that it's ok to have a little conversation with my own sister? Or could it be due to a certain rule she's imposed on herself-- Nobody's to speak to me unless I did so first. Heh. The rest of my day included playing online Bridge, reading, and talking for a bit with my mom. Let's see here... Productivity- almost non-existent. Emotionally- Probably devoided of it somehow. Other than annoyance. With myself mostly. Socially- Inapt. Spiritually- Weak. I've not been praying... There's this other thing that's been bothering me but I guess I'll nvr be able to deal with it anyway. It's outta reach and best be left alone. Even me 2nd orthodontist, Dr Oh, is leaving! Heh. Guess she got tired of having me as a patient. >.< Like Dr Ong, she's going to the private sector. Before she left, she gave me a packet of Impala rubber bands. :( I HATE 'EM! I HATE 'EM those rubber bands. I'm in this stagnant phase right now. The only things that are progressing for me are at school and my reads. I don't feel like I've accomplised anything and I certainly feel like my social and spiritual life's dwindling. Life's getting meaningless and I need to do something about it. Fast. But first, I've to finish up that essay due next week and get that coke I so badly need...and to hell with 'em, those rubber bands.
I know who reads my blog. And I dunno who reads my blog. I'd stilll write here occasionally, updating when I feel like rambling about what nots. Today, I had a real conversation after what seemed like years. Today, I will have undisturbed sleep. Finally. I hope. Thank you, Geraldine. For listening.
We all move on. But we'll never be over it. Who can you trust entirely? Probably noone. Not even yourself. Because noone knows you more than God. No, not even yourself. Apart from God, there's only one person who can heal your wounds. You. Do not rely on others to heal your wound, you'd only be rewarded with disappointment. Without expectation, there would be no disappointment. You can get fat from binge eating. That includes having desserts when you feel like it. I've been unhappy for longer than I thought. I understand the meaning of "So near yet so far." The saying, "Once bitten, twice shy." is so true. "Third's a charm." is bollocks. The veracity of life wears you down, eats you from the inside and ruthlessly rips off many counts from your smile counter. There is hope. The hope is God. Wallowing in self-pity is one of life's indulgence. When you're able to wake up to a new day, it's a blessing. When you're walking into the new day, it may turn into a curse. We're pilgrims of this world. We must go to a better place, one so far beyond my reach I'm afraid its gates I'll not enter. Today, I'd be able to sleep...
If only certain parts of the body can be "uninstalled" when u don't need 'em, and then "install" 'em back when u do. Like softwares in your computer. I've to endure this inevitable excurciating pain every month and I tell myself "It's gonna be over in a day or two. Bear with it." Oh, but no. The nagging pain eats u from the inside. From the uterus to the brain. And then it comes out in scowls, ugly tantrums and of course, buh-lood. In all honesty. If given the choice, I'd rather be a male. The male gender has all the priorities. ALmost, at least! Many may beg to differ, but I'm telling you. We all know it's true. First off, no menstruation. The average life span of a female (human) is 83. Males, a few years short, probably say, 78. So, a girl starts menstruating at the age of 13 on average, and gets menopause at let's say, 50. The crimson river comes every month, that's 12 times a year. SO that's... 37 x 12 = 444. That took me like 2 min. With the help of a calculator. 444! Not to mention all the pregnant thing, mood swings, acne outbreaks, frequent food cravings (Esp carbs and just about anything fattening). yadayadayada. They say, a woman's prime is when she's abt 21-30. And the men, 30-45. Men get more attractive as they get older, but everything about a woman goes downhill from like 30 onwards. That's really just a gauge, there are many ways to argue about what "they say". But let's face it, it's the painful veracity when u're talking about the physical aspects. "Women get all the perks. All they have to do is bat an eyelid, flirt for a bit and things will go easy for them." Aye, only works for like 20% for the whole women population who look gorgeous, or are able to strut around in a hot bod. But not applicable after they reach a certain age. For a man, it's different. If the man is "ugly", he'll still get his girl as long as he's got either of these -- money, persistence, very thick skin or a real heart. Women are sentimental creatures by nature. As long as they feel moved, they'll fall for it. Women are mostly either side-lined or at disadvantage. Times are different now. YEA. There's all this talk about equality and liberty and all. Feminists have proven that women can be strong as well. Thing is, it's always a known fact that women are the weaker sex. You dare say no? I get feministic sometimes too. THe only difference is, I just know men are more prevalent in society. How many prime minsiters or presidents u know are female? Pilots? Engineers? Preachers? Chefs? Etc etc. Granted, women are good at certain things. But we're always behind the men. And we cant change that. WE just cant. Maybe i'm being ostensible here. Heck, aren't we all? Bottom line is... For now, I wish I were not female. Bloody crimson river. !@$%^&*( Oh, and the ever elusive Yaofeng had finally arranged a date with Gdine and I to meet his Girlfriend (of whom, the name I do not know). Heh.
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The Cravings Secret Stash Drop a chocolatey comment SweetNutins Sweetpeas |
|Chocolatey Rants |