Why wouldn't it be so?

A gentle leap of faith.

One who wore those many masks may ask...

Should I have any regrets at all.

A perceptible answer etched in my mind.







I hate CYC. I don't like my FYP topic. I'm beginning to loathe science.
And why wouldn't I be? I'm not some smarty pants who'd like to spend time getting fascinated by how cells may react to heat shock!
Damn.
I hate CYC.
I don't like my FYP topic.
I didn't like my time spent in Proligo.
I hate CYC!!!



New tenant. An apprentice of my mom. Her name's Jingli. From Malaysia.
Very tall, pretty and nice. I'm so envious. Why can't I be so?
I find it kinda difficult to communicate with her, she speaks only mandarin and cantonese.
To add on to that that, I speak funny!




I give up. I'll only talk when i need to.

I'm starving. I've not eaten much for a day now.

I've not spoken for about a day too. I doubt I've the ability to pronounce my words properly.

Dr Ivan Toh. He looks like Frankenstein. My teeth extraction yesterday was extremely traumatizing. Nothing like last week's with Dr Tan.
I've eight separators stuck in between my teeth, i've four cavitites in my gums... I speak funny.

And i had a weird dream about Yijia being a super rich girl but wants to apply for a debit card. And I'd dreams about the bus interchange, Ben making me miss my buses and all sorts of dreams revolving around SIngapore's public transport. -.-


It's quite a torture not being able to talk when you want or need to.
Even more so when you're not allowed to eat what you want to.
It was just a "tiny operation" and I'm feelin ever so miserable. I wonder if I'd be able to accomplish anything great at all.

Queasy.

Mr Chang is getting on my nerves.



I worked at PP again.

It's so nice to see Al-hip, Leonard and the rest.




I like polite people. =)
Simple words like "Please", and "Thank you" are very much appreciated.
A smile further displays sincerity.
Be generous with your smiles and good manners!

I begin to tire again.

So it is said,

We do not value what we're blessed with.

Joy, not appreciated, till we face sorrow,
Faith, not within, till we be tested,
Love, not given, till it is lost,
Hope, overlooked, till doubts in life settle in,
Peace, taken for granted, till disputes arise.

Have we not learnt these lessons time and again?
I tire once more.



I grope in the darkness, the rays of light burns my skin.
Unforbearing. I've returned to my sinful ways.

God knows.
I pray that I've time to change. I pray once more, to die to my old self.

I hate pain.

='(

Now that exams are over, I've FYP to worry bout.

I slept at bout 2am. I woke up at 7am. Owing to I DUNNO WHAT, I just couldn't sleep anymore.

I'm up. And pretty much roving about at home. I think I need to go shit or sumtin, there's this weird churning feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Alright, the feeling's gone again.

IT's been on and off these few days.
I'm really a nervous-wreck. Gdine, Amanda and my other friends had been sharing experiences of their orthodontics treatment.

I was freaked out. I don't have a high treshold for pain.
Four teeth extraction and serious tightening of the braces. Amanda assured me that the first month is gonna be hell. Gdine said I'll lose weight. Mag believed that I'll be able to go thru it without a problem- I wonder why. Jerry predicted that I'll scream and cry, he also fed me with all sorts of creepy details which totally spooked me to tears. Jolene was sure it's gonna hurt real bad. Caiping said it hurts, but the teeth extraction isn't all that bad. Ruiqi felt that it's not worth the PAIN. Lawrence once told me that he couldn't get to sleep becoz his braces were hurting him so much. Daniel was the only one who said it's gonna be alright, then again, Daniel's a weird guy.

Argh.

I'm chickening out. This is gonna be freaky and agonizing.

I think I'm gonna not want to speak becoz im gonna mumble anyway.

And if I'm being cranky and irritable, dont be offended, please.
I'll most probably whine and groan. Bear with it, please.

If i'm making such a big deal just becoz I'm gonna undergo an orthodontic treatment, you should know by now how whiny I am. And the obvious, I can't stand PAIN.

The dentists pulling out my teeth had better be good.

Hey!

The exams are over! I can't tell you how delighted I am.
It's goodbye to sleepless nights and vain muggings.

Had a great dinner with Amanda and YJ at Tonkichi. The food there is so delicious.
Too bad Val and Gdine couldn't join us, else we'd have so much more fun!

All the best Gdine! Practise hard! I'm sure u'll pass. Don't you worry bout a thing. =)

Flooded with information!

No ability whatsoever to regurgitate them all. Almost none is settled in my head. Little digested.

I'm gonna spot questions! I don't care.
Too much, Too little. Too Late.

TO: THE LAZY ARSE

Here's the thing about me.

I'm not a nice person.

I'm short-tempered. Violent. Selfish. Conceited. I suck. I'm a nasty PMS-ing Bitch. I complain a lot.


If u can't stand me. Deal with it. I won't harm you(though i wish i could just stab you over and over with a scissors. LITERALLY) , but I won't let the matter rest either.

Vengeance isn't mine, but i'll get to you somehow. I'm Mean.

I'm damn pissed right now. I TOOK OUT THE DAMN TRASH despite you TELLING me you'll do it, when i wanted to do it earlier. I TOOK OUT THE DAMN LAUNDRY outta the dryer and put in a new set of laundry from the washing machine. You dont want to take out the trash? FINE. You take out the laundry. But again you said "Later. Why now?" I DEMANDED it to be done just now coz the laundry cannot wait. I SCREAMED at you a million times. WHat the hell do u know? The wet laundry will get musty being all cluttered up and they'll smell in no time. It's in the machine for hours. One simple request. You cant do now?! DONT GIVE ME THE "LATER" shit. DONT GIVE ME THAT. How many friggin times have i washed your mess in the sink?! I knocked off the things on your desk, I made a mess in your room to express rage. Im not sorry. You can mess mine up as well. I dont care. I'll just make sure that your life would be hell as soon as u step outta your pig sty. That's your fault. I'm a bitch. If u dont want to do anything in the house, you jolly well fuck off. I'll throw you out the house and keep you there. You can go crying to mommy. I dont give a damn. And the next time you sweep and mop, dont do it for the sake of doing it. MOP EVERY corner. There's this disgusting corner just outside your room which is damn gross. Spider webs and all. Again. I'm a bitch. You're no better. Your dumb life. YES it's your bloody dumb life coz u've got such a mean sister. Why am I sooo mean? Part of it is coz it's in ME, AND becoz you've brought out that bitch in me. You should be glad I'm not Mr Hyde.

I won't let the matter rest. I'm gonna tear up your hmwrk if sumtin like that happens again. You be sure I will. I'm warning you.


You're an ass. A lazy ASS! You're nt even doing ANYTHING! U're just lying on ur bed doin nothing. What? Wallowing in self-pity thinkin how bad ur life is becoz u're living with such a meanie? Dont give me that shit. I'm writting all these to vent my frustrations. I'm THIS CLOSE TO SMACKING YOU SILLY. I'm THIS CLOSE For a fight. Shouting at you will only hurt my throat.

You'd better watch your back and dont make me upset any further. You're gonna deal with the dry laundry later. If I have to do it for you, you're in for a treat. That, i can promise you.

"This Years Love"

This years love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
And I've been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so rightI start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on

Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife oh yeah
If you love me got to know for sure
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul

And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last
This years love had better last

So whose to worryIf our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on
And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last
This years love had better last

Jaded. God bless our weary souls.

Projects, assignments, exams...

Tell me about it!

Ugh. I've just finished my frantic search for this stupid AGO1 protein, lookin for it's EXACT location on the chromosome. Wherever senti morgan it is. I think i've found it.


Off to bed!


The worse news I've received today "Kareen, you might be developing allergic reactions to cocao."


I'll kill myself if it's true. I'll kill myself AND that doctor who diagnosed it. I WILL!

As u can see. I've lost my senses.

Tell of Love, Compassion. Faith, Hope, Encouragement, Inspiration, Kindness, Joy, Meekness, Goodness, Trust, Forgiveness, LOVE...
In times like these, have I forgotten such. Each day passes me by- time wasted, never gained.

I've forgotten my Lord.

I've forgotten my Mom.

I've forgotten my sisters.

I hate my dad.

I hate the ME I've become of.

Indifference settled in. Work claimed the body and soul. Glutton I am, I eat without thought. I speak with no boundaries. I've become such an airhead!

Save me from the worldliness!!! I'm consumed and further indulgence will swallow me whole!

I ate chocolates again.

alright. I've not much self-discipline. I didn't quit chocolates at all.

A lil' a day really doesn't matter. =)


Spent the evening at the library. Stories for the Women's heart.
Awaken unto the love around. That's sumtin i've to catch up on.

Thursday. Cold. Hair's still wet.

Weather Sucked. As always.

Bioninformatics test in the morning. Biotech fair debate on Genetic Testing (and the issues involved). Some points to be taken home for speculation. I'm up for it. And I WILL test my future boyfriend. See what's he made of. Muahhahaa!


Craving for chocolates. Again.



Caught THE LAKE HOUSE. It's soooo nice! I've categorized it as one of my favourites. =)
Gdine, YJ and I were sniffing like mad. I couldn't fathom why Val thought it was only "an O.K show".
I think it's a MUST WATCH.
YJ said that I was unromantic coz i was telling them that "He waited FOUR yrs for her!"
Rather puzzling. I thought that was super romantic! Prior to the fact that he was waiting for her and all other things he did. Like... Planting her a tree (Now THAT is sweet beyond honey and strawberry strudels... AND chocolates).

Personally, i feel that ppl who don't find the show nice is UNROMANTIC.

It's only a story, I know. A sweet one it is. Awwwww... Keanu Reeves charmed the socks outta me. Sandra's hair was pretty. The plot was oh-so-heart-melting. Happy Endings make Happy audiences. I'm so gonna watch it again.