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The Cravings Secret Stash Drop a chocolatey comment SweetNutins Sweetpeas |
Only Chocolatessss will satisfy my endlesss chocolate cravingsss You're most welcomed to satisfy me, You DO know what to do. |
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The Cravings Secret Stash Drop a chocolatey comment SweetNutins Sweetpeas |
|Confession of the Chocomaniac on Wednesday, August 31, 2005 If there's gonna be a Re-test for CCTA practical test. Im sooo gonna have it. I'm surprised to hear that most of us hadn't studied for that. All busy weezy with the ABC. To think i've been memorising all the metabolic cycles and la di da... SADLY. Only the fatty acids synthesis came out. Arghx. It's like, i've been studying for a question worth four marks. I was like really STUCK at this graph question involving the "guessing" of the absorbance reading. Guess who i got the "inspiration" from? teehee* How magical. As if i've plucked the answers straight from the air around me. Met Karen on the bus today. She was on her way to JSS. I could only bypass the school. Haven been IN there for like DECADES. My O level cert and testimonial's still lurking somewhere in there. I hope they've not referred them to the trash. Today is SOOENG's birthday!!! How i've missed her! And the rest as well. We took pictures like we've not used the cameras for eons. It was rather funny actually. Van and Wen and Pork and Siewc and Eng all wanted to take pictures with ME! *giggles I know that's sick, BUT seriously, i couldn't stop giggling when they asked to have their pictures taken WITH ME! The guys were late as usual. Only Che came earlier (nonetheless, still late). Went for dinner at crystal jade and talked and yada yada... The service there is HORRID. DO NOT ENTER the CRYSTAL JADE at Jurong point. If u see a China man with a blad spot on his shiny scalp, height of say... bout slightly less than 6 feet or so.. with many noticable holes on his face(alright, im being mean. but hey! i paid for their lousy service!) DO NOT GO IN. The ppl there in his shift are WEIRD. The outrageously rude and hideous one was he. Ugh.. just thinking of what he did makes my blood boil. So then, i ended the day with a hug from Pork! She was running across the road in spite of the 2 seconds left to tick on the counter of the COLOURFUL traffic light. *beams* She ran across the road. to hug ME. So, gdine had finally decided to partner Val. So i've decided to partner Ben. Tentatively, this should be so. Philip Lau didnt send me any mail. Guess there wun be any IS- I&E anymore! this was the BEST IS module i've ever had! i've got to know this girl- xiu feng. team leader. EXTREMELY organised(not those fastidious types), super nice. Sweet. Chatty... bla. She's such a sweetie. I so wish to have her as my team leader for all my other IS modules. I'm so happy today.
Everybody's God's wonderful creation. Who are we to despise others? I mean.. This is complicated. I know so-and-so likes to put words into our mouths... no offense.. But jumping into conclusions without having known the actual facts is definitely a No-No. This might in turn sow discord amongst the people who are involved. That's a sin. For your information. Backstabbing??? We're not backstabbing. We're just discussing! Discussing without her knowledge of what we're engaged in is NOT backstabbing. WE're trying to conjure up some "tactful speech" so that we may get our msg across WITHOUT anyone having to be as hurt as they would've been! That's not backstabbing. Our "speech" (however it may turn out to be) may turn out to be edifying or might (God forbid) cause hurt and ruckus amongst us. Absolutely dangerous. Red alert. That is why the discussion had been going on for so long. Got it??? It's rather hurtful to have read something like that. I wouldn't say that it's not ENTiRELY untrue. But then again. Don't we all act like that at times without even realizing it? I hope I've not offended anyone by having posted this. WE treasure the friendship we've had. I thought we've had it all along.(don't look surprised). A lil rocky and over the edge right now. All tangly-wangly. I'm sure if ppl get the facts right, all the way back at the beginning, none of those complications would've aroused. Whatever the case... hmm... oh well.. im pretty much stumped.
*Speculate, speculate. I know it's still kinda early.. but even sooo.. others have secured their partners! I was asked by val if i wanted to be her partner. But things have changed and all.. duno who she wants to partner with. Then there's this massive headache coz of Geraldine. (hey, you're not a mobile epidemic! i don't mind partnering with you.. just that.. sparks will fly and we might end up squabbling all the time.) Then there's the guys. Not sure why are they against partnering each other though. Soooo...shall see hw things go. Finally met up with irenes today! Missed her dearly. Still as mean as ever. End-of-semester exams are here. All the best everyone!
You bet it never was. If you think it'll be... wait for the judgement day. Came home like 3 just now. Skipped ACMB. I wasnt even listening to Dr Kueh earlier on. Poor him. Limping around with clutches. Hope i wasn't rude to anyone. But then again. I didn't really speak today. So i guess that's not rude. Is it? Whatever. I'm all too messed up to care bout others. It's such a pain. Irritance. Argh. Noone else can imagine the pain. "It's normal. You'll be fine. Don't worry. Just some painkillers will do." says the doctor. What an irony. Doctors are suppose to be smart ppl. Not this one. Screw him. What a liar. It's not normal! Everyone else don't experience the pain as much as I do. And im told it's normal??? Like hello? It doesn't make any sense. Either that, or it just isn't fair. Then again. Nothing's ever fair. So alright. I'l take that. At least im still healthy. Or so i think. I've been in bed for the past three hours now. Nobody's home... The pain is making it's way to my head. Argh... Screw the doctor.
I'm soo gonna fail Instrumentation CT2. I can't believe Mr Chang. Ugh... My freaking calculator died on me yesterday. It's a stupid calculator. It's a malicious, scheming one too. So then, there was ABC quiz and ACMB quiz today AS WELL. God i need some remedy... my nerves are all tangly wangly. Watched Charlie and the Chocolate factory finally! It was sooo funny. Apparently, it seemed like Geraldine and i were the only one who found it funny. nvm.. those ppl in the same cinema havent the intellectual ability to comprehend whatever that was on screen.
Looking foward to friday. =)
Caiyan's birthday in exactly an hour and 5 minutes. (=
Exams nearing. All the best to everyone. =)
Evidently, that's some garbage i've generated. Oh well.. just a few weeks before, i felt like my life was a total humdrum. Not anymore. It really is a conundrum. As of a vortex. Life can never be a humdrum, as much as u might like it to be, or hate it to be... or so u thought. This morning was hectic. Ah gong's body was cremated. I still cannot believe he's gone. It's weird. I still need time to register that. Felt a little faint today. All the emotional stir and lack of sleep. Projects and bla... Today was the implementation of our project. I didn't get to join my group for the first part. Slept in the car and felt grouchy and all... What's really cool is that i carried, fed and burped a baby who's actually just almost a month old. Thank God i wasn't all butterfingered. Life is weird isn't it? Ppl are born to die. What is your purpose here? Seek and ye shall find. We're all gonna die. Thereafter, we're all gonna be judged. I'm still figuring it out...
He left us on sunday morning, 14th August, approximately at 0937 hours. My grandfather had lived to a ripe old age of 83. I do not know if he'd accepted Christ. Sis serene shared with him the gospel whilst he was still bed-ridden but very much, alive. Hope that he's accepted Christ upon hearing the gospel. My cell phone wasn't on in the morning owing to the church service that was going on. Relatives started calling in... We received the news only after service. Everything's happening so fast. To think that we were gonna visit on that very afternoon. BUT evidently, he left before that. Dad has been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks now. Things are looking up for him. At least the nurses told us so. Hopefully they're right about it. If not, he might never walk again. On the same sunday, the doctor let him out for a few hours to attend the wake of his late father. He looked awfully sick. He was too weak to even support himself to the wheelchair. The hatred in me vanished away just by watching him. Pray that his health will be restored. I should try to do something about our family. It's MY family. It's not gonna be easy to restore broken relationships. I hope dad will finally come to his senses. I feel like such an idiot. It's only now that i see the importance of my family-namely, my dad. Isn't it kinda SLOW for us to realise the importance of someone/something when it's gone or when you're on the verge of losing it? That's the nature of Men for you. Pray that he'll accept Christ, his saviour one day. Death is certain for all of us. I wasn't very close to my grandfather, i wish i'd spent more time with him, i wish i'd put in more effort in learning hokkien. I nvr did. Boy do i regret. Even as i looked into the coffin with his expired body in it, i couldn't accept that the fact that he's gone. It's difficult. I need time to register that. I could still hear his voice ringing in my head during the ritual the rest were performing just now. My Lord provides me all the comfort i need. I'd been falling away spiritually from the last two weeks. When all the pressure was weighing me down, instead of seeking God for help, i'd drifted away. That was an extremely stupid thing to do. But it's nvr too late to repent. The Lord has blessed me with supportive friends. In which im awfully, awfully grateful. At least i didn't feel as alone as i thought i'd be. :)
It's not as easy as it sounds. There's a whole ordeal unfolding right before me, ultimately leading to this ruckus in my head- i bet it's gonna stay there for as long as like.. EVER! That aside. I've shrunk and put on weight. PLUS my face is allergic to sumtin... Arghx.. my lips are dehydrating and i happen to be an all-time klutz. Which means... i've a few MORE wounds. Nice. I was told that im 167cm in height. Guess what? The teacher lied to me! I'm only a midget of height 165.5cm. 166cm tops. Ok. IM SHORT. (happy now, Geraldine?) Hmm.. i'm gettin sick of being nice. Or rather, trying my best to be nice. Whichever it is... Im sick of the word, "nice". Im sick of conjuring up excuses/ defending for others when they are in the wrong, i'm sick of trying my best to make others feel right about themselves when they don't deserve it, i'm sick of trying to be a good daughter, i'm sick of trying my very bestest to be a good sister, i'm sick of listening to the lecturers 'oh-so-boring lectures, i'm sick of doing things that are RIGHT i'm sick of almost everything. Most of all.. im sick of myself. Ya! I'm sick of myself. That's it. I wish i'd choked to death. I wouldn't be here. I would've been in the comforting arms of my Father in heaven. SADLY, someone has to come along and save me. SADLY, instead of being thankful, i'm ungrateful. SADLY, i'm still breathing. Everyone tells me that i care too much. Everyone tells me that i'm trying too hard. Everyone tells me that i'm too cautious. Maybe i should try to be irrational for once. Maybe i should do whatever i want. Maybe i should just be MYSELF. I don't care if everyone hates ME. I don't care if I hate MYSELF. I cared too much. It's time to let loose. I'm looking for my remedy. Watch me. =) PS: I'm sorry (in advance) if i have to be myself. Cause i've no idea what it's gonna be like.
It was sooo fun! Loved the fireworks. We were given good seats though we were late. =) Everything's about the same. But it was spectacular. The display of all the tanks and aircrafts and la di da was really catchy. I'm so glad i went afterall! Seen enuff of red today... even my foot is bleeding. eeeks. Lessons tmr. Grr... I sooo wanted to catch Charlie on screen tmr! Drats.
Slowly, gingerly, i walked up to him. There he was, very much semi-conscious. It would've been a consolation if he'd actually recognised me. Even so, I was sure he'd acknowledged my presence. The room was quiet, the whirring of the air conditioning was the only sound reflected within the room. Reduced to mere skins and bones. All signs of life had been drained from him-once vibrant, and vivacious. Now, had been replaced by sheer hollowness, emptiness. Temperature was cool enough. At least i thought so. But he was drawn in and hidden beneath the white sheets that covered his emaciated body. He must've been experiencing tremendous turmoil. She must've experienced emotional wreckage for the second time now. It wasn't an easy thing to watch him. His constant shallow breathing is the only indication of life in him. Once in a while, he'll jerk awake, struggling to expel whatever that was obstructing his windpipe. He did so, out came the phlegm, along with traces of blood. I hope he gets well soon. May his health be restored. If that's not what he wants., then- Pray Lord that he'll be receive thee in his heart, may the gospel reach in and he shall seek solace under your arms and dwell with thee. That was my visit to the SGH to see my grandfather. Seems like he hasn't much time left here. Daddy's admitted into Alexandra hospital, some wound infection due to his diabetes. I hope grandma gets more rest too. She looks pretty much bushed. All that's left now- is pray and hope.
The Bazaar is over! The Class BBQ was a smash! Thank God for that. We'd made a profit of... shan't disclose it. But it's considerably alright. The Bazaar sure was fun! I can't believe i was the one who sold most of our coated Green peas. The feeling is sooooooooo great! The BBQ is definitely one of the best class bbq i've ever been to. We sprang Amanda with a birthday surprise. She must be sooo touched. =) I think she gave me her first hug of the night! *beams* I can't believe Rebecca. She'd given us SHIT this morning. I dunno what's she up to. I'm so washing my hands off her. She didn't help out at the stall today! oh man.. not that im seriously pissed... but she really is quite a spoilt brat. Talk about being TIRED. Puh-lease!TIRED?! Baloney! It's a wonder why i've actually been trying to find excuses for her irresponsibility. NOT anymore. Geraldine and i skipped lectures just so we could get more rest! Tired indeed. If she can come to the BBQ... i dun see why couldn't she help out at her own stall. Ugh... I haven't any idea how to reprimand her for her unacceptable behaviour. I think we did pretty well overall. Sure was hardwork, going around to sell NUTS. Ppl probably Would've probably thought that we're Nuts selling nuts. Amanda's grp did well. Althought they didn't earn much. But they really did well. The guys were really gd at selling their stuffs. Had our stalls packed up early so we could get ready for the bbq. There're so much food. I bet they're still bbq-ing right this very moment. The guys did almost all the cooking and stuffs. Ben's chicken was awful... Dr Zarman popped by too! It's just too bad some of us had to go off early. Cello practice tmr! Feeling lazy... should i go? Should i not? Hmm...
Everything's happening so fast and boy are we beat! The Bazaar was considerably alright. Thank God for that. We're sure we won't be making a loss now. Significant hardwork of ours has certainly paid off. One day of the bazaar had gone and im already half dead. My legs are screaming. It's a wonder why they've decided to stay with me rather than to run off by themselves. I've worked them too hard. There are so many so many so many things at hand! Val, gdine and i shopped at Giant at IMM for more than 3 hours! It was a horrendous experience. I've never been a fan of shopping. As if that's not enough, Gdine and i stayed up till 4am this morning. We only got to sleep 3 hours and we've gone to Giant again just now to get food for class BBQ for tmr. unbelievable. I've done enough grocery shopping to last me for the next whole year. All's in a whirl within me. We've been "bitching" bout Rebecca the whole day. Not that all's untrue, but I feel guilty about it. Hmm.. on the contrary, i feel that it is NECESSARY too. Whatever it is. It's still her fault. She's not bloddy serious about the Bazaar! Totally turned us off. I want to tell Rebecca about her oh-so-irky attitude. I just cant bring myself to do it! Silly me. Alrite. Im feeling boozy woozy now. I'm soooooooo over it. Rebecca-episode had gone to pass. I don't wish to see it tmr. If it does happen yet again... I might be prone to sinning against God and commit homicide in my thoughts. P.S- Geraldine! you've done well!
We were assigned to "sacrifice" a mouse each per group. I wanted to kill it actually. Surprisingly, Shufang offered to be the "blood-hands". The mice were so cute! Till the part whereby they had their intestines and all the inerts spilling out. EEww~ Okies, so.. Hui hwang injected the mice with anaesthetics. I picked the one which looks the most unconscious. There were bout two boozy woozy ones... i guess Ben picked one of those. Bad choice. Anyways, i shan't go into explicit details. Kinda sad and fun at the same time. heex. Just a brief recollection of what we did in the CCTA lab this morning- 1. Picked a mouse. 2. Broke its neck whilst it's sleeping. 3. Cut up its skin. 4. Searched for its spleen. 5. Detached spleen. 6. Mashed it up in PBS solution 7. Proceeded as usual. 8. Spleen cells isolated. Fusion with myeloma cells. Loooong practical. I was doubly flabbergasted at Shufang's conduct today. That girl! She's starting to freak me out. Any idea what she did?! She couldn't locate the spleen, sooo... she used the forceps and began tossing and turning the inerts of the poor mouse. I can assure you, it was a mess! Im speechless. She gave me the creeps just now. =S Ben's mouse was a sad case. Geraldine claimed that she saw him crying. Lol. Apparently, i guess his mouse wasn't fully unconscious. When they broke its neck, it was so petrified it peed in its fur! That wasnt the end of it. Assuming that its already dead, we were very much in shock when it started opening its mouth (can u believe it? it was trying to scream for help. lol!) Alrite. Im not laughing anymore. It's really quite sad actually. So much so for mice. I'm looking foward to the next lab lesson. Peter just did an imitation of Dr Kueh IN FRONT of Dr Kueh. That's so mean. You should've seen it. Mom's still doubting my emotional status. It's gettin irritating. She sent me to school AND fetched me home today. That's the first. What's up with her??? There's nothing wrong with me!
 
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